I'd like to report a theft...

Remember the fans I lugged from the Catholic Student Center?

I left them on the balcony outside my apartment against the wall with this sign:



(I was going for the '50s Diner-esque aesthetic.)

When I left for class in the morning, they were gone. But the sign was still up, and a trash bag that needed to be taken to the dump was also still outside.

I am more confused than anything. Who steals fans? For that matter, who pulls completely nonfunctional fans out of streams and lugs them across campus with every intention of using them?

...

Anyway, my plan was to get an area in Byrd Stadium where I could display the fans. A caption would explain that they were pulled out of Paint Branch Stream by the College Park Environmental Group on 9/20/08, the very same day that the Terps ran over Eastern Michigan with an offensive onslaught (thanks, Diamondback headline writer). Why fans? Because, you see - and a banner would proudly proclaim this - Terps are big fans of the environment. Oh yes.

Beneath the banner would be a list of things that Terps fans can do to show their team spirit, by way of respect for the campus upon which we kick so much athletic arse. For instance:

• Recycle aluminum cans, glass and plastic bottles, and cardboard boxes
• Use the compost bins provided by Dining Services to dispose of concessions
• Don't litter

and essentially leave the campus at least as lovely as you found it.

I could get some trashed fans from the dump. Or I could take this theft as a sign that some vigilante got wind of my nefarious plans and decided to put a stop to my rampant punnery.

Perhaps Testudo himself would be a more convincing environmental liaison to Terps fans. Fan fan fan. I have hereby lost my privilege to say the word "fan" for at least another five posts.